


the sun's falling from the sky

by sparklingmini



Category: JBJ (Band)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, But It's Still There, Internal Conflict, Internalized Acephobia, Light Angst, M/M, asexual character/s, donghan is aroace, just so you know, taehyun is a sweetheart, there's not much of it, we all need a taehyun in our lives, yongguk basically saved donghan with his knowledge, yongguk is ace too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 12:18:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19318036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingmini/pseuds/sparklingmini
Summary: donghan doesn't feel comfortable with taehyun -- or himself.





	the sun's falling from the sky

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone!!  
> i'm back again with a type of story that really hits deep for me.
> 
> i'm also aroace and this is completely for myself to read over when i feel like i'm not valid.
> 
> if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!!
> 
> note: i didn't include all the sexualities in the ace umbrella, so, if you're questioning, i highly recommend you do more searching yourself
> 
>  
> 
> title taken from: 태양이 떨어진다 (twilight) - oneus

it’s 11:49 pm and he finally hears his boyfriend walk in. he sits up in his bed giving taehyun a dreary smile. he sees taehyun smile back as he gets closer.  

 

“hey, baby,” taehyun whispers, voice soft from overusing it, “what are you still doing up?” 

 

“waiting for you,” donghan replies, “you know i miss you of a day when you have solo schedules.” taehyun smiles.  

 

“i miss you too, baby.” 

 

despite being with taehyun, who’s the most loveable, softest and most amazing person — in donghan’s definite opinion — he doesn’t feel comfortable.  

 

donghan knows this isn’t right, he wouldn’t be feeling this way, he doesn’t know why.  

 

“what’s got you thinking hannie?” he hears taehyun’s voice. soft as ever, donghan thinks.  

 

“nothing, i’m just tired,” he replies sleepily. taehyun just stares at him.  

 

“you should’ve gone to sleep then,” taehyun says, pout evident in his voice.  

 

taehyun sits on the bed in front of donghan. donghan leans his head on taehyun’s shoulder and closes his eyes. taehyun wraps his arms around donghan’s neck. 

 

“let’s sleep now, yeah?” donghan hums.  

 

— 

 

donghan wakes up early the next morning, taehyun still sleeping.  

 

he untangles himself from taehyun and gets up.  

 

he walks out to the kitchen, unsurprisingly, no one’s there, it’s 5 am, no one would be awake, especially when they don’t have schedules today.  

 

he gets water and he stands at the sink. he thinks.  

 

no one should be awake for a few hours yet, but when he sees taehyun standing at the door to the kitchen, he’s surprised.  

 

“what are you doing up donghan,” taehyun asks, “i thought you’d still be asleep.”  

 

“i don’t know either, to be honest,” he replies, “what are you doing up?” 

 

“i got cold without you,” he wraps his arms around his body for emphasis, “i didn’t notice your presence in bed either.” 

 

donghan chuckles, “i love you.” 

 

those words feel like sick on his tongue. 

“i love you too.” 

 

— 

 

they’re all up now, it being the afternoon, and they’re playing board games and other such things, but donghan can’t concentrate.  

 

“baby,” taehyun whispers in his ear, unlike other times, that word makes him sick knowing it’s directed towards him. “are you ok?”  

 

no, donghan isn’t, but he can’t say that it’ll make taehyun unnecessarily worried.  

 

“i’m fine, i guess i haven’t been getting enough sleep recently.” 

 

“baby, that’s not good..”  

 

“i know,” and donghan does know, it’s just been really hard for him to sleep, he doesn’t know why though.  

“i love you too.” 

 

— 

 

there’s something wrong with donghan and he knows it. he can’t tell taehyun though, no way in hell. so, donghan deals with it alone.  

 

 

— 

 

donghan thought he was happy with taehyun.  

 

well, he is, but not in the way he’s meant to be. he’s his boyfriend for god’s sake, he has to like him that way.  

 

his body has other ideas for him though.  

 

whenever taehyun gets close to him and does the romantic things he normally does, he feels sick.  

 

whenever he just _looks_ at sanggyun and kenta doing their pda, he gets this sick feeling in his stomach.  

 

he wants it to stop.  

 

— 

 

he doesn’t know what’s wrong with himself. he wants help.  

 

— 

 

he starts looking things up.  

 

 _why do i start feeling sick_ _when my boyfriend does something loving for me?_  

 

he searches.  

 

 _abusive relationship._  

 

that’s not it, taehyun loves him like it’s the last thing he has to do before he dies.  

 

 _relationship anxiety._  

 

no, he doesn’t question anything in his relationship, he doesn’t have anxiety and he hasn’t experienced anything terrible in previous relationships.  

 

he searches again.  

 

 _why do i feel uncomfortable in my relationship, and when i see other relationships?_  

 

none of those answers helps in the slightest. ‘last one,’ donghan thinks.  

 

 _why do i feel uncomfortable around sex, and sex talk?_  

 

that first article didn’t help. he knows about sex, he doesn’t care about educating today’s youth.  

 

the second wasn’t any more helpful either.  

 

he finds nothing so he shuts his laptop down.  

 

— 

 

they’re out doing schedules as jbj today, and donghan’s glad he doesn’t have much time to dwell on his problems.  

 

the only problem is that taehyun is even softer for him when they have the time.  

 

donghan can’t deal with it.  

 

he can also see kenta and sanggyun making out in the corner. he feels sick.  

 

“baby,” comes taehyun’s hushed voice, “something’s wrong, you need to tell me what it is, i’m starting to get worried.” 

 

donghan can’t look taehyun in the eyes at this point. 

 

 “i’ll tell you soon,” donghan says in a quiet voice.   

 

“ok, if that’s what you want,” taehyun says hushed.  

 

— 

 

“hyung,” donghan calls out. 

 

“hmm,” he hears yongguk hum.

 

“c-can i speak to you p-please?”  

 

“yeah, what’s up?” yongguk asks.  

 

donghan doesn’t know how to start, where to start.  

 

“take your time, donghan,” he hears yongguk say. like he knows he’s having a battle inside his head. donghan takes a deep breath.  

 

“you’re pretty wise, right hyung?”  

 

“that’s pretty subjective donghan,” he replies, “i can’t help you with everything.” 

 

“that’s really helpful right now hyung,” 

 

“you asked me,” he shrugs his shoulders. “anyway, what brings you here?” 

 

“i wanted to ask if you knew what was wrong with me.” 

 

“what’s... wrong with you?”  

 

“yeah..” donghan replies.  

 

“first, i don’t think anything is “wrong” with you,” yongguk states.  

 

“what do you mean hyung?” 

 

“i know how you’ve been around taehyun-hyung.” 

 

donghan stares at him. Does he know? 

 

“no, i don’t know exactly what’s wrong, but i do know that you look uncomfortable around taehyun-hyung, and when he does normal relationship things with you, like kiss you, or hug you.” 

 

wow, donghan can’t believe this. 

 

“also, i see you around sanggyun and kenta. at first, i thought it was just because you felt uncomfortable around that much pda, since everyone else is uncomfortable around them, and you and taehyun-hyung aren’t like that.” 

 

this is why donghan loves yongguk.  

 

“wow hyung. you got _all_ of that after observing me for a bit?”  

 

“well, i mean yeah,” he deadpans. “it’s not that hard to read you. i’m surprised taehyun-hyung hasn’t figured out yet.” 

 

“well.. actually..” he starts, “he’s starting to figure out, that’s why i came to you.” 

 

“then, tell him,” he states. “tell him how you’ve been feeling around him.”  

 

“i-i can’t,” donghan replies. “i need an answer as to why i’m feeling like this.” 

 

yongguk stares at him as if thinking.  

 

“have you been searching the internet?” 

 

“yeah, but nothing comes up.” 

 

“try searching the word ‘aromantic’.” 

 

— 

 

donghan does, he moved off yongguk’s bed quickly, rushing to get back into his room.  

 

donghan doesn’t know what he’s looking up. i guess that’s why he’s searching it up. but yongguk said to, and he always trusts yongguk’s opinion.  

 

he opens his laptop and searches.  

 

 _aromantic meaning_. 

 

he looks and stares.  

 

at first, it tells him that it’s having no interest or desire in a relationship. he searches more. he clicks on more and more links.  

 

 _what is_ _aromantic_ _— asexual vs. aromantic_ _, defined, explained_  

 

‘this looks helpful,’ he thinks, clicking.  

 

he looks at the definition for asexual.  

 

 _while_ _asexuality means you do not_ _experience sexual attraction..._  

 

he thinks. this might be half of what he’s looking for.  

 

he goes down the article. _woman a._ he thinks about what she said.  

 

‘i couldn’t possibly be, there’s no way,’ he lies to himself. ‘i’m not, i’m not any of these, they’re lying.’ 

 

he shuts down his laptop, he’ll speak to yongguk about this in the morning.  

 

— 

 

“y-yongguk-hyung,” he says quietly, not bothering to knock.  

 

“hey hannie,” he replies, “did you figure out anything last night?” 

 

“y-yeah,” he says, voice barely over a whisper. “but i still don’t understand much...” 

 

“come sit down,” yongguk pats the spot beside him on the bed. “what do you still not understand?” 

 

“i-is there other things i can search up?” yongguk looks like he’s thinking.  

 

“here,” he pulls out his laptop and logs in.  

 

 _ace spectrum._  

 

he sees yongguk type. he hands his laptop over to donghan.  

 

“try this.” 

 

donghan searches through an article.  

 

 _grey-asexuals_ _-_ _experience_ _sexual_ _attraction infrequently or not very strongly._  

 

that’s not him, he’s never thought of sex as a thing he would like to do, nor has he thought about doing it with anyone.  

 

 _demisexuals -_ _experience sexual attraction only after developing a strong emotional bond._  

 

that can’t be it either. he would’ve experienced something by now.  

 

he looks through all of them.  

 

 _autochorissexual._  

 _fraysexual._  

 _lithsexual._  

 _apressexual._  

 _gravisexual._  

 _abrosexual._  

 

none of them fit him. until he sees what he’s looking for. _asexual._  

 

 _asexual -_ _feeling no sexual attraction towards anyone of any gender._  

 

he stares at that definition a little too long and yongguk questions him. 

 

“is that something you can relate to?” 

 

donghan stares at yongguk’s. 

 

“yeah...” 

 

yongguk smiles. he takes his laptop back and types in something else. _aro spectrum._  

 

he hands the laptop back to donghan and he looks.  

 

 _aromantic - feeling no romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender._  

 

donghan thinks, he shakes his head.  

 

 _demiromantic -_ _experience a romantic connection but only after developing a strong emotional bond._  

 

the same with demisexual. he’s never felt the romance before.  

 

again, he looks through them all.  

 

 _frayromantic._  

 _grey-romantic_ _._  

 _cupioromantic._  

 _akoiromantic._  

 

again. nothing.  

 

“so, anything?” yongguk says beside him. he shakes his head.  

 

“are you _really_ sure?” yongguk asks. he shakes his head. 

 

“is there anything in there that you are unsure of?” donghan nods. “tell me.” 

 

“a-aromantic.” 

 

“okay, listen hannie,” he starts, turning his body towards him, “go think about this overnight, come back to me in a day or two.” 

 

donghan nods and gets up to exit yongguk’s room, “thanks hyung,” he smiles.  

 

— 

 

donghan thinks about what he and yongguk talked about. it’s a lot to process, but he thinks he understands better now. 

 

he’s asexual.  

he’s aromantic.  

 

— 

 

he goes back to yongguk the next day.  

 

“did you think about it?” he asks.  

 

“yeah.” 

 

“that was quick.” 

 

“i thought that i shouldn’t be hiding from myself anymore. i need to accept myself.” 

 

yongguk smiles. “i’m proud of you donghan.” 

 

yongguk looks like he has more to say.  

 

“hyung, do you have to tell me something else?” 

 

“yes, actually,” yongguk nods to himself, or donghan, donghan isn’t paying attention though.  

 

“so there’s more i need to tell you about asexuality and aromanticism.” 

 

donghan nods, this should be ok.  

 

“so, we have such labels called things like sex-repulsed, romance-repulsed, such like that.” 

 

 _we?_ did donghan hear that right? 

 

“i want you to think about that, or search up about it and tell me what you think.” 

 

“ok hyung, got it!” he replies, happiness evident in his voice. “but...” 

 

“yeah?”  

 

“when you we telling me about the new labels, you said _we._ what do you mean by that?” 

 

yongguk’s eyes widen. had donghan said something wrong?  

 

“o-oh,” yongguk stutters. “yeah, the reason i knew so much was because i’m also asexual.” 

 

donghan smiles. “i’m glad i’m not alone.” 

 

yongguk smiles too. “so am i donghan.” 

 

— 

 

donghan does think about the new labels, he searches up more about them for more confirmation. he knows he’s sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed, he’s been showing those signs for ages.  

 

he’s sex-repulsed.  

he’s romance-repulsed.  

 

— 

 

donghan wakes up the next morning, tired. he sees taehyun across the room, in his own bed. it’s not unusual that he’s in his own bed, but he’s normally in donghan’s bed, alongside him.  

 

he sees taehyun slowly open his eyes. donghan smiles at him.  

 

“how are you feeling hannie?” taehyun asks, voice still rough from sleep.  

 

“i’m fine, better than yesterday at least.” 

 

“that’s good,” taehyun smiles.  

 

taehyun moves from his bed to donghan’s and wraps his arms around him.  

 

“i love you,” taehyun says, his head moving to the crook of donghan’s neck.  

 

donghan hesitates.  

 

“..i love you too,” he manages to get out.  

 

taehyun gives him a questioning look.   

 

“are you ok donghan?” taehyun looks angry now. “i need you to tell me what the matter is with you. i can’t go on like this.” taehyun looks like he’s about to cry now.  

 

“i-i’m sorry,” donghan apologises. before taehyun can say anything, he continues. “i’ve been struggling with my sexuality recently.” 

 

taehyun’s face softens.  

 

“oh baby..” taehyun starts. “do you feel comfortable enough to tell me?” 

 

“you deserve the right to know.” taehyun nods at his reply.  

 

“um, so,” donghan starts hesitantly, “you know how i’m always hesitant on having sex with you, or stopping right before anything happens?” 

 

“yeah?” 

 

“well, there’s a reason for that.” 

 

“..and that is..” taehyun eggs him on.  

 

“i-i’m,” he starts, “asexual,” he says under his breath, but just loud enough for taehyun to hear.  

 

next thing he feels is taehyun wrapping his arms around donghan, giving him a massive hug.  

 

“i’m so proud of you baby,” taehyun coos. “i’m so happy you told me this, i’m glad you didn’t keep anything in and told me, i’ll make sure to look out for you.” 

 

donghan feels his heart swell. that’s half down.  

 

“i have a question though.” 

 

donghan’s heart starts racing. 

 

“y-yeah?” 

 

“are you sex-repulsed?”  

 

huh, donghan wasn’t expecting that.  

 

“yeah, yeah i am.” 

 

“ok, i’ll make sure to make sure your as comfortable as you can be around things like that. especially kenta and sanggyun.” 

 

“thank you hyung.”  

 

“all for my baby,” taehyun smiles at him and kisses him.  

 

— 

 

donghan walks into yongguk’s room, luckily hyunbin isn’t there, he doesn’t want to explain anything to him. neither would yongguk.   

 

he looks over to yongguk’s bed.  he’s there.  

 

yongguk looks up after hearing the door open.  

 

“hey hannie,” he says excitedly, “how are you today?” 

 

“i’m _really_ good today hyung!” he replies excitement flowing off of him. “i want to tell you something important.” 

 

yongguk hums, turning his whole body to face donghan. “tell me hannie.” 

 

“i pulled out all the courage i had and told taehyun i was asexual!” he yelled happily, realising anyone could’ve heard him, he covers his mouth quickly.  

 

he looks over to yongguk and sees the happy expression on his face. he holds his arms out and donghan basically dives into them.  

 

“i’m proud hannie,” he says, “congratulations.” 

 

donghan’s face lights up.  

 

— 

 

taehyun’s in donghan’s bed again. donghan thinks that taehyun thinks it’s all ok now. 

 

spoiler: it isn’t.  

 

donghan can’t tell taehyun that one specific detail, he doesn’t think he ever can.  

 

yongguk would tell him to stop worrying and tell him already, but it isn’t as easy as that.  

 

he thinks yongguk can’t say anything because technically the only one he’s come out to is donghan.  

 

well, he can’t tell yongguk what to say either. donghan hasn’t come out to anyone but yongguk. half to taehyun too.  

 

but he has to tell taehyun someday, he’s his _boyfriend_ for crying out loud. he _has_ to tell him at some point.  

 

— 

 

it’s deep into the night and donghan can’t sleep. taehyun has his arms wrapped securely around donghan’s waist. 

 

he wants to escape but he knows there’s no chance, unless he’d like to wake taehyun up. donghan doesn’t want to explain himself, so he stays still.  

 

he stares at taehyun, there’s no love to be found.  

 

‘was there any in the first place?’ donghan thinks to himself. ‘or was it all a lie just for my band mates who wanted us together so badly.’  

 

honestly, he thinks it’s the latter.  

 

it makes him think back to his school days. really, there was no one he liked in the first place, just lies he’s told his friends and himself.  

 

lies just to fit in with the rest.  

 

it’s unfortunate really, there’s no exposure for the ace spectrum, aro spectrum. if he had been exposed to this earlier, would he not be in this situation? would he have been more comfortable in his own body? 

 

the thoughts race through his head. he thinks about how hard it must of been for yongguk to try and discover all of this on his own. 

 

donghan shakes his head, he needs sleep.  

 

— 

 

it’s saturday and jbj have just finished their schedule for today. now, they are playing board games.  

 

taehyun has his arms wrapped around donghan’s waist and has his head buried in donghan’s neck.  

 

donghan swears taehyun is going to pass out any second.  

 

“do you want to go lie down taehyun?” donghan whispers. “you seem like you’re about to pass out.” 

 

taehyun shakes his head and whines. “i don’t want to leave you.”  

 

“well, do you mind if i join the other hyungs while you lie on the couch?”  

 

taehyun nods and slowly lets go. donghan lays taehyun back again the couch and joins the hyungs.  

 

donghan looks over kenta, sanggyun and hyunbin’s shoulder before moving to sit beside yongguk. he whispers something into yongguk’s ear.  

 

sanggyun, knowing exactly what donghan is doing, gets up to tackle donghan to the floor.  

 

he starts tickling donghan and donghan can’t breathe.  

 

taehyun, springing automatically into action, runs into sanggyun to push him off of donghan.  

 

donghan had barely any time to catch his breath until he feels taehyun wrap his arms around his neck. taehyun pouts.  

 

“go attack your own man.” he says, pout very evident in his voice. “leave my baby alone.” 

 

“y-you’re c-choking me h-hyung,” he gasps out, “i-i can’t breathe.”  

 

taehyun stares before finally realising he’s basically killing donghan.  

 

he runs his hands all over donghan’s face and neck, checking for any damage.  

 

on the other hand, donghan’s gasping for air. finally glad he’s not being choked to death.  

 

“look what you’ve done sanggyun!” taehyun yells accusingly, but laced with a teasing intent. “you almost killed him!” 

 

donghan sees sanggyun gasp, “i didn’t do anything hyung!” he fights back. “tell him kenta-hyung!” 

 

he looks over sanggyun’s shoulder to see kenta shrug his shoulders.  

 

“not my problem.” 

 

sanggyun looks offended, “don’t you love me?” he starts whining.  

 

kenta shrugs again and taehyun takes this as an opportunity to attack sanggyun. tickling him to the ground.  

 

donghan’s having fun tonight, wide smile, eyes curved into crescents.  

 

it keeps going until yongguk yells at them to shut up because he, hyunbin and kenta are trying to finish their game.  

 

“but-” sanggyun tries.  

 

“or i’ll skin you alive.” sanggyun shut up after that.  

 

“aren’t you supposed to be the hyung taehyun?” donghan says, purposely missing out on the ‘hyung.’  

 

taehyun, now being at the centre of this attack gasps. “how dare you donghan?! don’t _you_ love me?” 

 

“nope!” he says, popping at the ‘p.’ 

 

donghan then does this weird roll on the floor, moving over to kenta.  

 

“goro goro goro.” he says, catching kenta’s attention. he then sits on his knees.  

 

“since our boyfriends are incapable of loving us,” he starts feeling sick saying ‘boyfriend,’ “would you like to go out with me kenta-hyung?” 

 

kenta tells him ‘yes,’ no hesitation in his voice what so ever and donghan reaches out his hand. kenta grabs on and they look over to their actual boyfriends.  

 

both of their mouths are open in shock, they then look over to yongguk and hyunbin, both who have an amused look on their faces.  

 

they then look at each other. they nod in understanding before skipping off with each other, hand in hand, over to donghan and taehyun’s room, locking the door and sitting on donghan’s bed.  

 

“so,” donghan starts, “anything you would like to do now that we’re here?” 

 

kenta appears to be thinking.  

 

“do you want to tell me anything?” he asks. “i’ve seen you around taehyun-hyung, i’m surprised he hasn’t questioned you about your actions.” 

 

donghan’s eyes widen, damn, is he that easy to read? 

 

donghan mentally prepares himself. “this was bound to happen, i guess i should tell you, get my confidence up to tell taehyun-hyung.” 

 

“oh, hannie,” he says worriedly, “never mind, you don’t need to tell me.” 

 

“no, i need to.” kenta nods. “so, i don’t love taehyun. i never have.” 

 

kenta doesn’t show any emotion. if he did, donghan hasn’t noticed.  

 

“ok,” he replies.  

 

“..o..k?” donghan clarifies.  

 

“yeah, i’m glad you had the courage to tell me though donghan.” he smiles sweetly.  

 

donghan throws his arms around kenta.  

 

he’s glad that kenta understands. he’ll tell taehyun next.  

 

— 

 

donghan stops taehyun from getting in his bed the next night.  

 

“i need to speak to you.” donghan’s heart is beating out of his chest.  

 

“what’s wrong hannie?” he sounds worried.  

 

“i need to tell you something extremely important,” taehyun nods and donghan’s nerves increase. “i don’t want you to hate me though, i really don’t.” he trails off, feeling tears well up in his eyes.  

 

“what makes you say that hannie? i could never hate you.” 

 

donghan takes a deep breath, “i’ve been talking to yongguk about this, that’s why i’ve been hanging out with him a lot more.” 

 

taehyun nods.  

 

“i’ve been talking with him about my sexuality.” 

 

taehyun nods again.  

 

“i’m not only asexual, but i’m also aromantic.” 

 

donghan looks at taehyun’s expressionless face, he continues.  

 

“i think i’ve always been aromantic. always felt this way, but i’ve never noticed it.” he states.  

 

taehyun finally nods.  

 

“ok, this is a lot to take in.” donghan understands, he truly does. it’s not everyday your boyfriend comes up to you and tells you that they’ve never loved you.  

 

“let me have a day or two to figure my thoughts out, until then donghan, just know that i love you.” he smiles sweetly, donghan doesn’t deserve him.  

 

donghan falls asleep peacefully that night.  

 

— 

 

donghan enters yongguk’s room the next morning, hyunbin’s there.  

 

“get out hyunbin.” he hears yongguk mutter to the big lump over on the other bed.  

 

he sees hyunbin lift his head and glare at yongguk. “no.” hereplies stubbornly.  

 

“i’ll skin you alive hyunbin, now leave, go find somewhere else to sleep.” hyunbin grumbles and gets off his bed with his blankets and pillows. yongguk makes sure that the door is shut properly and locked before facing donghan.  

 

“so, what’s up?” he questions.  

 

“i told taehyun about what i’m feeling.” he sees yongguk’s face light up.  

 

“so..?” 

 

“he told me to give him a day or two to figure his thoughts out. it’s better than nothing, i guess.” 

 

yongguk nods.  

 

— 

 

the next morning, as soon as donghan is awake, taehyun calls him over.  

 

“i’ve been thinking these past few days.” he tells him quietly. “i think i’ve spent a considerable amount of time of it.” 

 

donghan’s nerve increase dramatically. what is he going to say? 

 

“i just want to ask you a few questions before i make my final judgement.” 

 

ok, this shouldn’t be too bad. 

 

“if it’s ok, tell me about how you ended up with me in the first place.” 

 

donghan nods, he’ll have to tell him eventually anyway.  

 

“i honestly think it was the pressure everyone else had given us,” he states, “i felt this need that i _had_ to ask you out.” 

 

“so it was pressure from the band mates..” he mutters to himself. “ok, tell me more about how you’ve come to this conclusion.”  

 

donghan inhales some air. preparing to tell taehyun basically his whole life story.  

 

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to...” he quickly adds.  

 

“no,” donghan stops him. “i need to do this.” 

 

he sees taehyun smile sweetly. “ok.” 

 

“i guess it all started when you started getting more and more open with your pda.” he says. “i was ok before hand, since nothing much was going on between us. nothing had really changed except we had moved on from best friends to boyfriends. 

 

“i’ve always been uncomfortable around sanggyun and kenta, there’s no doubt about that. i just didn’t think i’d be uncomfortable around you. i didn’t think i could get uncomfortable around you, i felt extremely bad when i had started feeling those things. when i started thinking those things.   

 

“i eventually went to yongguk to see if he knew anything, and low and behold he knew what i was talking about. i don’t know if i can say anything about what he told me about himself, but it’s what helped me figure out what my sexuality was. he told me to search up different terms he knew. i went back to see him and he searched up things for me to look up as well.  

 

“he kept pressuring me to tell you because he didn’t want me feeling uncomfortable anymore, so, that’s why i’m having courage to face you today.” 

 

donghan’s out of breath as he finish his speech.  

 

“thank you so much for telling me this donghan. i’ll think about tonight and i’ll definitely get back to you tomorrow.” he smiles.  

 

— 

 

donghan has himself better prepared the next time taehyun calls him over to talk to him.  

 

the first thing taehyun does when they sit down his hug donghan.  

 

“so, i’ve done more thinking, but you should already know this.” 

 

donghan nods.  

 

“i shouldn’t be mad at you for how you feel. it’s not my place.” he states. “just, whatever you choose to do, i’ll accept it.” he smiles.  

 

donghan couldn’t of had a more perfect person other than taehyun.  

 

“so...” donghan starts, “who should do the honours?” 

 

“you.” taehyun says, no hesitation in his voice. “you were the one to figure all this out, figure out yourself.” 

 

“o-ok.” he stutters. “taehyun, would you like to cut off our relationship and go back to being friends?” 

 

“yes.” taehyun smiles.  

 

— 

 

donghan thinks it’ll take awhile for things to go back to the way it was before. but at least he knows he has amazing friends to support him.  

**Author's Note:**

> again like i say all the time, hope it wasn't cringy, i just needed something to make me feel valid.  
> anyway, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> until next time!!


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